You may recall from our earlier posts that humans are a needy species. One need that drives much of our behaviour is the need for safety. Not only do we need shelter from the elements, but we also need to feel that those around us will do us no harm.
When considering new paths, the uncertainty as to our safety causes us to be hesitant.
What if I quit my job, but then end up unemployed?
What if I invest, but instead lose money?
What if I take on that opportunity and it turns out badly?
What if I leave my partner and end up forever alone?
What if I divulge my sexuality and become rejected by those I love?
Underneath all our hesitations are subconscious concerns that we will be harmed either physically or emotionally.
Staying where we are is safe. We know what to expect. We take comfort in the familiarity of our situation. If I know that tomorrow I am going to wake up in my own bed, and that I have a job to go to, that is highly reassuring. Knowing that I can love and be loved in returned, is comforting. Not knowing, conversely, where my next meal is coming from, or how my boss will react if I ask for a raise, is scary.
We naturally love to imagine the worst because that is how our brains keep us safe. Our brains are designed to seek out threats, and as such, they will alert us to the dangers – you could lose all your money, you could end up destitute, your family may get upset with you, and so on and so forth. (Brains. Gotta love em’).
I am sure my mother was not alone in saying: ‘you don’t know until you try’. Fact of the matter, whilst we can make some reasonable assessments from time to time, we really don’t know how the future will play out. Maybe we will succeed, and maybe we won’t. But one thing is for certain, outside our comfort zones is where learning and growth takes place – regardless of the outcome. Stepping out of your comfort zone, and trying something new can lead to wonderful new adventures. Doing that course could open your eyes to a whole new world of thinking. Maybe that person you fancy will say ‘yes’ to a date. Family members often surprise us, and maybe, just maybe, you’ll discover a hidden side of yourself.
There is a Jewish saying that ‘all new beginnings are hard‘. But it takes just one step. Take the first, then the next, and keep putting one foot in front of the other, and before you know it – you’re walking! Walk the same path repeatedly and it becomes habit. Eventually, what was once strange, now becomes familiar. The boundaries of our comfort zone grows.
The Warrior-Womxn's Guild 
I needed to hear this. Have been just surrounding myself with comfort, not really pushing myself, enjoying coasting through life, but that also means i’m letting it pass me by. Thanks for this post!
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Thank you Stuart. An analogy I really like to use, is that of water. Water that is stagnant becomes smelly and a breeding ground for algae and mosquitoes. Moving water, conversely, is clean, and it shapes the environment as it flows. Setting small goals is a good way to go. What are some things you would like to achieve, and what steps do you need to get there? Then, take the first one! Most importantly, when we look back on our lives, I think it is nicer to count the things we tried, rather than tally all the things we wished we had of done. Good luck to you in your endeavours!
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