You may have heard it before: ‘we all have the same 24 hours in a day’. A statement meant to be motivating. A statement designed to make one think, ‘if so-and-so can achieve all that, so too can I’. But in reality, it has the opposite effect. It is demotivating. And almost – a passive means of bullying. It says: ‘hey, if you aren’t doing as well as so-and-so, what’s wrong with you?’
The thing is, we don’t all have the same 24 hours in a day. Whilst time ticks by at equal speeds for each and every one of us, our days and nights are filled with different activities.
The individual with no dependents, who works from home, and was born into privilege, can accomplish more if they are inspired to do so. Yet, some of us have long commutes to and from work. Some of us care for children, elderly parents, or a less able-bodied partner. Some of us have to work long hours labouring just to afford our next meal.
Well, ‘if you don’t have time, make time!’ comes the retort. This is all well and good, if you spend three hours a day watching television, browsing the internet, or sleeping well beyond your body’s needs. In some cases, modifying how you manage your week can help too. Perhaps limiting grocery shopping to twice a week, rather than deciding meals day by day will help? Maybe catching the bus or train will enable you to study whilst commuting? Maybe you have already done these things, but then what?
Well, ‘if you can’t make time, buy time!’. Indeed, paying someone to do things for you, can help free up a few hours. But, only if you have the spare cash or something to barter. We often see female celebrities exalted as ‘superwomen’. Particularly those who are mothers. We glorify their ability to ‘snap back into shape’. We marvel at their ability to release an album, a perfume line, book, and exercise DVD all within three months. We don’t, however, she the help they are able to pay for: the cleaners, the gardeners, the chefs, the babysitters, the personal trainers.
Many of us cannot make time or buy time, simply because that is reality. It is not through lack of desire, trying, or capability. Were you to have the life of another, their resources, their responsibilities (or lack thereof), you too could potentially achieve the same.
This post took me more than a week to write. It is not very long. Nor is it intellectually challenging, but my 24 hours are jammed packed. I can steal a minute here, a minute there, but in reality, at present, I don’t even get the recommended 8 hours of sleep. Did I want this post to take so long, of course not! Do I want to finish writing the book I started two years ago, hell yes! Would I like to spend an hour in the gym everyday – absolutely! But I don’t have the time, and I don’t have the money to make time, and that is reality. And it is okay.
Comparing ourselves to others, and feeling bad because ‘we all have the same 24 hours’, yet not achieving as much, is harmful. Whilst we should never stop wanting to grow and learn; and whilst we need to feel a sense of accomplishment; we also need to face the reality of our situation. We need to be kind enough to give ourselves a break. To recognise that responsibilities and certain priorities take up much of our limited time. We shouldn’t be trying to jam pack every minute of our days on a false belief that that is how others became successful. Truth is: society often misattributes an individual’s achievements to their time management skills and intellect, but often fails to mention the help they have, and the help they can buy.
The Warrior-Womxn's Guild 