The wizened warrior attempts peace before war. This doesn’t mean appeasing others or sacrificing oneself. Doing so would only ignite a war within. Most of us have felt that internal battle. Those times when we haven’t been honest with ourselves, when we have let someone else take the reins, or said ‘yes’ to things when we really wanted and needed to say ‘no’. It isn’t a pleasant feeling, and it can be tough to change when surrender has become our default response. Quite often, others have become so used to our submission to their will, their way, their plan, their choice, that any assertive attempt to honour our time, our values, our selves, is met with resistance.
Warrior, you may have heard it before: courage is not the absence of fear, but acting despite the fear. You do not need permission to speak up for yourself, to take care of your needs, or to demand respect. Yes, it may be scary at first, but like many things (learning to drive, talking to another human being, going down that massive water slide), the more you do it, the easier it becomes. Anyone who laughs at you, or disparages you for standing up for yourself, is not an ally. Do not spend time worrying about their opinions. They do not matter.
Warrior, preparation for battle is a must. Chinese philosopher Confucius advised many centuries ago that success depends upon previous preparation, and without such preparation, there is sure to be failure. A modern day Australian adage is the 7 Ps: Prior Preparation and Planning Prevents Piss-Poor Performance. Preparing ahead of any event, and having a plan B is always a good choice. Spontaneity is not a bad thing, and we should never slave ourselves to having everything perfect before moving ahead, but sometimes having a few go to one-liners makes dealing with difficult people that little bit easier. If you cannot say ‘no’ outright, perhaps practicing lines similar to the following may help:
I would love to help you, but I’m afraid I can’t this time around.
I would love to help, but I’m flat out, have you considered XYZ / asking XYZ?
Sure, I will help you with XYZ, and in return you won’t mind doing ABC for me. Oh, what’s that? You can’t do ABC? Well, I’m afraid you will have to find someone else. Sorry.
I’m currently busy with other tasks; however, if I were in your position I would XYZ.
Moving from the metaphysical to the corporeal, sometimes a fury is ignited within. Offensive attacks and violence are never the answer; however, learning to physically defend oneself is a highly important life skill. Our seasoned martial artists will tell you: they hope never to have to use their skills in real life, but it is far better to be prepared than not. This site cannot teach you hands-on practical skills. Thus, The Guild highly recommends that you seek out a reputable school where you can learn some basic self defence. Running away is not always an option and the skills you learn could save your life.
None of us should seek out ‘war’, but a little preparation, both mentally and physically, could see you leave the battlefield less scarred.
The Warrior-Womxn's Guild 